Sit in the Emotion

     Yesterday I had an argument with my husband and he said something hurtful.  I am sure no one can relate to this, but indulge me anyway....
     As I sat on the couch with him and the kids I noticed my chest feeling tight and my mind was racing and my legs were restless so I was rubbing my feet together furioulsy.  These things happen to us and we hardly ever stop and try to see ourselves from an objective/hovering viewpoint.    I was thinking about what he said and what I wish I had the guts to say...also trying to figure out what he meant when he said it then on to theories and conclusions I must draw from all of this.  My thoughts just kept swirling and my anxiety kept heightening, and then suddenly I did not want to feel this anymore.  I wanted it to stop, but I did not know how to make it stop. Then something happened.
      I was looking down at myself from somewhere else or may be it was the holy spirit but I distinctly heard, "Your feelings are hurt.  Just sit with that."  And everything just stopped.  The tightness in my chest loosened, my legs relaxed and my mind stopped.  Then I allowed myself to just feel the hurt and nothing more. 
     How do we stop ourselves?  Do we sometimes need to take a bird's eye view?  Or maybe not that far, just the ceiling's?  As I recall this, I remember looking down at myself and peeking into my busy brain.  I do not know if some people have the ability to do this.  I don't know if the reason I did this is because I listen to Theologians and Psychologists and apologetics almost daily. 
        I know when I have asked friends who confide in me, when they started having anxiety issues or depressive issues, they hurriedly respond with, "I don't know."  Well knowing requires thought. 
     If there is a question that challenges me and makes me uncomfortable but has the potential to help me, then you better believe I will answer it no matter how much thinking I have to do. 
     So next time you feel anxiety, go to the exact source--the comment, the action, whatever it was--name the emotion then just feel the emotion.  Do not try to analyze why you feel it or why the person did what they did or did not do, just feel the emotion.  And your thoughts will wander and you just have to reign them back in.  To know if you are the type of person who can do this, is to ask yourself this.  When something you thought to be true is challenged in an unmistakable way, what do you do?  Do you embrace the new found knowledge or do you turn your head and hold tight to your own perception?  Let me give you an example....
     I was watching this documentary one time about wild mustangs and how they were being captured and put in to pins and I was just appalled!  Why don't they just leave them alone??  They are so beautiful and they aren't hurting anyone!  Well I Finished the documentary and it turned out that there were so many that they were causing all kinds of problems with people and with each other as animals.  That is a ridiculous oversimplification but my point in this narrative is not to discuss wild mustangs, it is to illustrate that I was wrong.  I formulated a viewpoint based on limited facts.  This is so extremely prevalent in our society.  And this hurts our personal lives as well.  We must be willing to examine all facts even with sensitive subjects about society and about ourselves and when we don't the effects are devastating and when we do, the benefits are astounding.  We fear the emotion of hurt or we just overlook it too often.  Hurt is a big deal.  We are such vulnerable fragile creatures.  That is why anger and hate is so prevalent.  No one wants to be fragile.  So next time anxiety is overwhelming you due to an incident just stop and accept and feel...